National Chicken Wing Day

Happy Belated National Chicken Wing day!  For those of you that aren’t privy, July 29^th is the date of this most revered holiday.  I would be lying to you if I told you that I knew about this day any earlier than this year.  As a chicken wing enthusiast and someone who is always looking for any excuse to consume these deep fried delectables, as soon as I heard about it my fate was sealed.  The wife and I decided we would go to Wingers for the all you can eat special they run all day on this hallowed holiday.

Anyone who knows me knows that I can be a bit of a braggart, especially when it comes to my wing eating prowess.  To be fair my technique is flawless, but the amount of wings I can consume in one sitting has declined sharply in the last year as I have done my best to shed a little weight.  That being said, I was going into this celebration with lofty expectations.  I was eyeballing the three-dozen mark.  Even now as I type this, that doesn’t seem like that many wings, perhaps I am a bit skewed.  I not only had high hopes for myself but  also for my P.I.C.’s (Partners In Crime) in this caper.  I went to Wingers with my lovely wife Jen and one of my best buddies and old college roommate Jeffrey Wayne Riley.  Both are self-professed wing lovers and the perfect peeps to celebrate this sacred day with.

We got to Wingers and were a little shocked, excited, and disappointed all at the same time to find that the place was kinda dead.  Oh well, that meant more personal attention for us and quicker wing turnaround time.   I decided I would start out with a half-dozen wings slathered in Wingers’ amazing Rebel sauce.  It’s a spicy sweet delight, and honestly is only sauce you need to have there.  Their other sauces are good, but this stuff is GREAT. Jeff started with six of their Classic Buffalo wings, and Jen had FOUR wings with the Rebel sauce.  This is where things took a turn for the worse.

Now I am not one to judge, usually, but when you have put your name on a chicken wing blog, and are   semifinalist for the National Buffalo Chicken Wing Festival Road Warrior challenge there are certain things that come with it.  One of those things is on National Chicken Wing Day; you should probably really go for it on the wing consumption front.  At Wingers, for their all you can eat, you get the initial six wings and then they bring them to you in threes from there on out.  You can have any sauce you want.  I have said all of this to say that Jeff and I embraced the challenge of eating as many chicken wings as we could.  Sure we didn’t hit our goals, but damn it we gave it our all.  The same cannot be said for my darling wife.  I knew things were amiss when she started looking at the Build A Salad section of the menu.  That’s right SALAD on Nation Chicken Wing Day.  Blasphemer is a strong word but I feel it is apt in this instance.  As my right hand man and I are downing wings by the three Jen was pondering the similarities of chives and green onions and deciding on dressing.  I was absolutely beside myself but I wasn’t going to let her dampen my spirit as I foraged ahead 6…..9…….12 wings in, break time.  One thing I will say, and it is a bit of a cop out.  Wingers had some large wings on this day so those these numbers aren’t going to wazzle and dazzle you on the wings consumed front.  The ounces of delicious chicken flesh consumed were something to behold. 

One thing that is crucial when eating wings is your beverage of choice.  I am a beer drinker.  When I am not eating wings I love a hoppy IPA, when you are eating spicy fried pieces of heaven I suggest your favorite light beer in high quantities.  When our waitress asked if I wanted another beer, I said I wanted a bigger light beer.  I had a mug in mind and planned on having at least two.  Jeff really made a heads up move here and asked her if they had anything bigger.  This is when I was introduced to Wingers Big Ass Beer Glass, 50 oz. of delicious beer.  The perfect glass vase of beer for when you are eating all that you can on the chicken wing front.  This was one of the highlights of our visit. 

I digress.  Upon receiving my Big Ass Beer Glass I continued on eating wings by the three.  15 wings down and I am super full.  Jen is just now getting her SALAD and I am feeling sorry for her.  A little because she ordered a salad and a lot because she has to live with me after I filled my stomach with chicken parts.  It’s hard for me to express the shock I felt that day.  Here’s the woman I love, my partner in all things chicken wing, eating a SALAD on National Chicken Wing Day. It wasn’t Washington State Chicken Wing Day or Pierce County Chicken Wing Day.  This is the day our federal government has decreed is THE day to appreciate the chicken wing.  When President Taft signed this holiday into law from his bathtub he certainly didn’t have eating SALAD in mind.  Given the current numbers on obesity in the country, having a salad on National Chicken Wing day is literally and figuratively un-American.   Don’t worry though Jeff and I completely engorged ourselves for you and for me and the entire USA!

Final Count

Jason – 18 wings and 66 oz. of beer

Jeff- 14 wings and a few Pepsi’s

Jen- 4 wings and a SALAD

I guess it’s pretty easy to see who loves America more.